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Over the past half year I have let go of a lot of the rage I harbored for my ex over all kinds of things.

But I see now that when he is not there for the kids, it is because forces bigger and darker than him are at play. Listen to my Like a Mother episode ‘If he doesn’t see his kids, don’t fuck him’: Related: What to tell your kid when their dad is not involved My kid’s dad isn’t involved and I don’t know what to say The real reason your ex doesn’t see the kids Close the pay gap? 50-50 visitation and no child support Should you date a guy who doesn’t see his kids?

You take parenting as a responsibility — not an extracurricular activity.

I’m working on that attitude as both a divorced parent and a child of divorce.

For some, the fears go away without a second thought. That is the main reason a boyfriend can become a controlling nightmare.

It is hard to pinpoint the answer to why this behavior exists, but, if you feel as if you are being controlled, being able to identify the behavior is your first step to freedom.

And those things prevent him from being the parent he wants desperately to be — and enjoy his children as much as he otherwise might.

When the mom asked him why he didn’t return the daughter’s phone calls, he replied: “I don’t have anything to say.” I gave her some ideas about taking the issue to family court, and managing both the daughter’s and her own expectations (stop trying to control him – you can’t).

My own dad was not involved in most of my life — and that devastated me in ways I don’t yet fully understand, but I have harbored a lot of anger about it.

My ex is an awesome father, but there was a time when he was not as reliable as I would have hoped, related to what I wrote about a little bit here.

Unfortunately, love is not everything to some people. The world we live in may be a reason to become paranoid of strangers, and suspicious of our own family, at times.

However, when you are in a relationship, those feelings should subside.

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